I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
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It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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