Betty ford says i'm here all night
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im holly from the hills drunk
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
