I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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