Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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