Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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