you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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