I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
bring money and cleavage
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
