What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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