I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
