sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
