so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
