Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Life is so much better after having sex.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
