i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He better not be in your backpack
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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