i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
