All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
