i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
