Apparently you make a good broom.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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