wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
