My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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