i just had sex bonerless
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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