it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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