I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize