Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
