...so i touched it.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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