I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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