i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
