I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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