Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
