Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
