I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
