Duck Duck Cougar?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
