So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
