My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize