In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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