I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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