Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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