Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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