ya dads aren't the best wingmen
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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