you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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