Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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