She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
