On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
