The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize