She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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