well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
