drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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