you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
