based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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