his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize