I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
soo... how was my night?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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