Got a toothbrush?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
