i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
