I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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