So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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