I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
