Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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