I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
