im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
