I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I am mentally ready for anal.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
