he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
it glows. i had to have it.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
